Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
