I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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