I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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