I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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