with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
