just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
