There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
