Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
