Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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