Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
