I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I see more hoeing in ur future
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