he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
