I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
