he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
