i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
