I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
