dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
bring money and cleavage
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
