How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
