Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
