The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
