I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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