Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
