Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
