Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
