wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
