i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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