I didn't shave. On purpose
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
