Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize