I skipped work to stalk him.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
