I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
