she looked like the before picture.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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