butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
