YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
