Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
