i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
