wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
