you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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