YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
