Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize