I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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