Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
