My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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