.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize