Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
