she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
