She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize