yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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