My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
