i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
