Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize