You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
