apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
