I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
