I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
