FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
