morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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