I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
